I am not a friend or relative of the woman, and yet I am in the kitchen with her, or at least much of me is. The door stands open as I am on one end of the sitting room, fully clothed and bedded, while she is on the other, streaming dishes. It seems I am doing the dishes while watching a cooking show, for she remarks to me.
"You are amazing at getting things done. Your schedule is like a time machine."This is a compliment, so I don't feel slighted. Instead, I thank her for the praise and look at the clock. I know what to do...
Just a few days into the storm, I am so sure that I am not going to make it. If I am a failure at this whole idea of becoming an exec, why would I want to continue? I am so tired. I am so sick. My instruments are mangled. I can't breathe. I know my ship is sinking. Soon, I will be captured by a violent and deadly sea. But I don't think I will drown. I have survived a harsh wind and a winter storm, and I am going to make it.
If you are not ready to face the challenge of beating yourself up and feeling weak in moments like that, I have an alternative. It is often much harder to face the world than it is to face yourself. Sooner or later, you are going to have to face the fact that you can't fix everything, and you can never make someone else feel happy or comfortable or safe or productive when they aren't.
Toni Morrison wrote The Bluest Eye as a school assignment, and her teacher took the manuscript away so she could work on a new project. To get through the novel, she sat down in the morning and wrote for ten hours. To this day she still claims she wrote better when she was tired than when she was rested. Neil Strauss, author of The Game started at 6 in the morning when he was a kid and then worked until 7 or 8 at night. He still has that habit, although he no longer toils in the morning. [End Page 144] d2c66b5586